lesson learned. again.

you know, i've heard the saying "no good deed goes unpunished" and yeppers, there is some truth to that particular adage. does this mean i will ever give up doing good things for those i care about - because some of them can't, don't or won't appreciate my gestures? not a chance.

i give what i have and i do it out of love. i don't do it for reciprocation and i don't do it for recognition...i do it because it is asked of me and i'm able.

will i allow myself to get screwed by the same person more than once?  probably so, dammit...but more than three times? not a fucking chance.  i'm kind, but i'm not stupid.

ok, i'm a little bit stupid.  about some things.  but not in general.

you know, treating people the way you want to be treated doesn't always pay off and i think the key here is to understand that going in and doing it, regardless.  we shouldn't do nice things in order to receive nice things. we should be kind because that is who we are and that is how we want to affect the world.  fuck all y'all that take and don't give back. you will not change me at my core.  you will make me wary and cautious, but you will not make me bitter and resentful.

ok, you might make me bitter and resentful towards YOU.  but not in life, not towards those that haven't earned it.

you, who fabricates this idyllic, wonderful life so everyone can think they know who you are.  you do fool a lot of the people, a lot of the time and that's cool. but you have also managed to fool yourself.  big mistake. you are a taker. a manipulator and a user.  you are a cheater, a liar and a fraud

and i don't like you anymore.

i treasure honesty and loyalty and trust.  i treasure those who give their word and keep it. i treasure those who tell me a necessary truth even if it's something i don't want to hear.  i treasure love and i treasure friendship.

i treasured who i thought you were. 

those are the people that i live for, love for and fight for.  those are my people and those are the ones that i choose to surround myself with.  all you other fuckstains - get out of my head, get out of my heart and get out of my life.

you don't get to be a part of my life any longer.  you are poison and you are gone.

peace out, bitches