FMR.

is it only in my life that you are awakened at 2:51 am by the periodic, yet incessant buh-BEEP of a smoke alarm, having lent your only ladder to an ex husband only to find that no object in your house is tall enough for you to reach the 10-some-places-12-fucking-foot-high ceilings in your house and even if you DID have your ladder you couldn't tell which of the 18,000 smoke alarms in your house is doing this horrid noise, which of course, follows you into every room in your house because they are ALL CONNECTED to each other, with each showing a solid green light, leading you to believe that the offending alarm in need of a battery change must be in fucking Timbuktu because you've checked every single one of them that you are aware of AND that the incessant bee-BEEP of the smoke alarm is exactly one-one-thousand-eight seconds apart AND that your whole body aches because you are sick and only want to sleep but can't because of the FUCKING SOUND, making you feel that a rusty ice pick to your left eye would be a welcome thing right now?

omg, please make it stuh-hah-hah-hahpppp

*LOSER ACKNOWLEDGEMENT* only because i am nothing, if not honest...c'mon, you knew it was coming.

it's 5:44, have been trying to sleep since 2, right?  just did another check of the smoke alarms only to realize that it was not, in fact a smoke alarm buh-BEEPing at me, but the house alarm telling me it needed to be reset. JHC i am an idiot. back to my not-so-warm-after-almost-4-hours bed to drift off to the sweet sweet silence that is now my home.