dale dates a retard.

swingin' in to costco yesterday and see that their gas is at about $2.40 a gallon, suh-WEET! i'm thinking oh yea AND i have a 10-cent per gallon discount on account, so i pull in and get in line. waiting, waiting, waiting - about 20 minutes later (after i've quietly bitched out everybody in front of me for not knowing how to just gas' n go - let's MOVE it people!) i'm up to the pump and it asks me for my costco card - comin right up - pop it in and it tells me again to insert my costco card. well shit - i just DID, but ok...try it again. nope tells me to swipe my costco card. third time it locks me out and tells me to call the attendant. completely aware of the line formed behind me and the mad mugging being thrown my way, i hand my card to dale and ask for help. he starts to insert the card, looks at it and says "uhm...they don't take Von's Club Cards at costco, derrrrr."

that was bad right? i can own it, trying to insert my Von's grocery store club card three times at costco and not noticing was pretty dumb. it was very obviously brought to my attention that i was not at Von's right? so, the costco attendant comes over and clears the pump (dale did not tell him what i had done, although i could see him struggling very hard) and i insert my costco club card and credit card to get the gas going. standing there while the tank is filling, i look down at the price per gallon and think huh, it didn't give me the 10-cent discount. i seriously thought about asking the costco attendant to come back over and give him the what-for about it, but decided i'd just get the discount next time. so, i finish filling my tank with costco gas, smile and wave to all the pissed off people behind me in line and go park in the costco parking lot. d and i are just starting to enter the store when, still puzzled as to why i didn't get my discount, i say to him, "OH! duh...my gas discount must have expired on oct 31...that's why i didn't get it. bummer." i'm such a maroon. it still hadn't occurred to me that costco doesn't give per gallon discounts r-tard. you can't earn these. they don't exist. they do however, give them out at Von's along with that club card i was trying to jam into the pump a minute ago. jeebus,  can you imagine if i'd actually thrown down with the costco attendant about wanting MY DAMN DISCOUNT?!?

i think i cannot even begin to fathom just how much this man must love me.